Current:Home > NewsCan women really "have it all"? Lily Allen says kids "ruined" career, highlighting that challenge-DB Wealth Institute B2 Expert Reviews
Can women really "have it all"? Lily Allen says kids "ruined" career, highlighting that challenge
View Date:2024-12-23 23:32:18
Singer Lily Allen is garnering attention for comments she made on the challenges of balancing a career with motherhood.
"I never really have a strategy when it comes to career, but yes, my children ruined my career," Allen said, laughing, on the Radio Times podcast Tuesday. "I mean, I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop stardom, totally ruined it."
Allen, 38, who shares two daughters with ex-husband Sam Cooper, said she chose to step back from her career to focus on raising her kids.
"It really annoys me when people say you can have it all because, quite frankly, you can't," the "Smile" singer said. "Some people choose their career over their children and that's their prerogative."
It's a dilemma many women in the U.S. are all too familiar with.
"The concept that we can do it all, I think many of us have realized is not a realistic concept," Holly Wilbanks, the founder of the Wilbanks Consulting Group, recently told CBS News Pittsburgh. "Instead, what women today are trying to do is figure out what's important to them, what they value, and how they can structure their focus and their time around those things — and quite frankly, for a lot of women, that means making choices."
And those choices look different for everyone.
"Nowadays, being successful means being so many different things to so many different women. It's very subjective," Wilbanks says. "(Some) women think climbing the ladder is success, other women feel caregiving for their children or a sick loved one is this definition of success. So quite frankly, it's all over the spectrum."
For many parents, of course, working isn't a choice but a necessity.
"Can women have it all? Nobody can have it all. Can women be incredible moms and successful professionals? Absolutely," says Juliet A. Williams, a professor in the department of gender studies at the University of California, Los Angeles. "We don't want to fall into this habit of valorizing a stay-at-home lifestyle that is not accessible to everyone and even some people to whom it is accessible have chosen against it."
Plus, "being at home with their kids is not the same thing as being a great parent," Williams points out, warning against glorifying or demonizing a woman's choice (or lack thereof) between work, kids or doing her best at both.
Environment plays a role, too.
"Some countries and contexts make it much more difficult to lead a fulfilling life that includes both work and family," Williams says, adding the United States in 2024 is "one of the most difficult."
"But places like England, where I believe Allen (is from) and even others in Western Europe that are seeing a rolling back of the welfare state, should expect more and more people to be frustrated by that," she adds.
The challenge of handling both work and kids became even more apparent during the COVID-19 pandemic, where mothers in particular were put in an impossible situation.
"They're doing their own job, their child care worker's job, and their children's teacher's jobs," Professor Joan C. Williams, founding director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California's Hastings College of Law, told CBS "Sunday Morning" in 2020.
And while plenty of fathers struggled during COVID too, a study at the time showed women were almost three times more likely than men not to be working due to child care demands because of the pandemic.
Experts say it boils down to support.
"Women are in the workplace now. And it's really about, if they're choosing to be in the workplace, how do we support them there? If they're choosing to be at home, how do we support them there?" Wilbanks says.
Williams points to a need for greater public investment in child and after-school care as well as a shift in the image of an "ideal worker" being somebody whose commitment is to the job with no other responsibilities — since that "structurally advantages men over women in society where caretaking is associated with gender even to this day."
"We really want to work as a society to create more social support for people to navigate those challenges rather than acting like there are three easy answers or clear pathways to get there," she says.
- In:
- Child Care
- Mother
- Children
Sara Moniuszko is a health and lifestyle reporter at CBSNews.com. Previously, she wrote for USA Today, where she was selected to help launch the newspaper's wellness vertical. She now covers breaking and trending news for CBS News' HealthWatch.
TwitterveryGood! (4)
Related
- Kevin Costner Shares His Honest Reaction to John Dutton's Controversial Fate on Yellowstone
- 2024 Subaru Crosstrek Wilderness lives up to its promises, on and off-road
- Iowa promises services to kids with severe mental and behavioral needs after lawsuit cites failures
- 5 died of exposure to chemical in central Illinois crash, preliminary autopsies find
- Powell says Fed will likely cut rates cautiously given persistent inflation pressures
- Bear attacks, injures woman in Montana west of Glacier park near Canadian border
- The Latest Glimpse of Khloe Kardashian's Son Tatum Thompson Might Be the Cutest Yet
- Georgia corrections officer killed by inmate with homemade weapon, officials say
- AIT Community Introduce
- All 10 drugs targeted for Medicare price negotiations will participate, the White House says
Ranking
- Mississippi rising, Georgia falling in college football NCAA Re-Rank 1-134 after Week 11
- Brazil’s government starts expelling non-Indigenous people from two native territories in the Amazon
- 'Wild 'N Out' star Jacky Oh's cause of death revealed
- South Asia is expected to grow by nearly 6% this year, making it the world’s fastest-growing region
- Video shows masked man’s apparent attempt to kidnap child in NYC; suspect arrested
- Saudi soccer team refuses to play in Iran over busts of slain general, in potential diplomatic row
- Hunter Biden returning to court for arraignment on federal gun charges
- More big strikes loom, with thousands of health care and casino workers set to walk off the job
Recommendation
-
Jake Paul's only loss led him to retool the team preparing him to face Mike Tyson
-
India tells Canada to remove 41 of its 62 diplomats in the country, an official says
-
Enchanted Fairies promises magical photoshoots. But some families say it's far from dreamy
-
With his mind fresh and body rejuvenated, LeBron James ready to roll with Lakers again
-
NFL Week 11 picks straight up and against spread: Will Bills hand Chiefs first loss of season?
-
'Wild 'N Out' star Jacky Oh's cause of death revealed
-
China Evergrande soars after property developer’s stocks resume trading
-
Judge affirms Arizona can no longer exclude gender-affirming care from state health plans