Current:Home > BackAt 90, I am finally aging, or so everyone is telling me. I guess that's OK.-DB Wealth Institute B2 Expert Reviews
At 90, I am finally aging, or so everyone is telling me. I guess that's OK.
View Date:2024-12-23 20:39:35
At age 90, I finally realized that I qualify as "elderly" or, to be more positive, as "aging," or to be even more positive, as "mature." However, I don't ever want that irritatingly patronizing label of "senior citizen."
My advanced age seemed to come upon me all of a sudden, as if I hadn't transitioned into it little by little. To the contrary, it's as if I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and asked, "Who in the world is that old jerk?"
How I look, however, is only part of facing reality and how I feel is only another part. No, the big factor is how other people treat me. This hit me rather dramatically as I was exiting a building the other day.
I was brought up to stand back to let women go first, even to hold the door for them. So as I started for the door, a young woman stepped ahead of me, which was OK and seemed normal, then she opened and held the door for me.
Damn, what a shock.
Make friends with your body:I expected an active retirement, but my body had other plans. I'm learning to embrace it.
I am a man of a certain generation
This sort of thing is beginning to happen all the time. At the hardware store, I bought a few minor items – light bulbs and bird seed – weighing perhaps a total of 10 pounds. As I started to pick up the sack, the cashier said, "Sir, let me get someone to help you with that."
Again, damn.
And then the crowning blow. I was starting down a short flight of steps, holding the railing as I always do, and even did when I was younger, when another man who, to me, looked about my age, said, "Here, sir, would you like to take my arm?"
Yet again, damn.
For a few weeks, I let all this depress me. I am a man of a certain generation after all: former Air Force officer and jet fighter pilot, former corporate executive, author, former speaker and consultant, and so on. I have a great résumé; of course I'm too old for anyone to hire me even if I wanted them to.
It can be depressing.
It didn't help a lot to realize that I've had a great life, that I have a wonderful wife, terrific sons and grandsons, the best in-laws anyone could have, and great friends. But as I thought about that, trying my best to count my blessings, it began to sound like an obituary.
Can someone outlive hospice?Rosalynn and Jimmy Carter bring needed attention to hospice care – and questions
It has taken several weeks to realize – and perhaps I'm not yet all the way there – that the Buddhists have it right: Respect and learn from the past, but don't let yourself be held hostage by your memories; and always look to the future with optimism but live in the present, relishing and cherishing every single minute of every single day. Even the ones that my younger self would have complained about.
Finally, when all those younger folks offer to help, let go of the chagrin, realize that it makes other people feel good to help and just say, "Thank you."
I think they, whoever they are, refer to that as aging gracefully.
James A. Autry is an author of several books and a former Meredith Corp. executive. This column first published in the Des Moines Register.
veryGood! (24)
Related
- Beyoncé nominated for album of the year at Grammys — again. Will she finally win?
- 'Steamboat Willie' Mickey Mouse is in a horror movie trailer. Blame the public domain
- A congressman and a senator’s son have jumped into the Senate race to succeed Mitt Romney in Utah
- Dalvin Cook, Jets part ways. Which NFL team could most use him for its playoff run?
- Advocates Expect Maryland to Drive Climate Action When Trump Returns to Washington
- New Hampshire luxury resort linked to 2 cases of Legionnaires' disease, DPHS investigating
- Who won Powerball? See winning numbers after Michigan player snags $842 million jackpot
- Acclaimed Mexican actor Ana Ofelia Murguía, voice of Mama Coco, dead at 90
- Kelly Rowland and Nelly Reunite for Iconic Performance of Dilemma 2 Decades Later
- Cardi B Sets the Record Straight on Her and Offset's Relationship Status After New Year's Eve Reunion
Ranking
- Trading wands for whisks, new Harry Potter cooking show brings mess and magic
- 9 ways to get healthier in 2024 without trying very hard
- Nicki Minaj calls this 2012 hit song 'stupid' during NYE performance
- South Africa’s genocide case against Israel sets up a high-stakes legal battle at the UN’s top court
- Olivia Munn Says She “Barely Knew” John Mulaney When She Got Pregnant With Their Son
- Tamales, 12 grapes, king cake: See how different cultures ring in the new year with food
- Court rules absentee ballots with minor problems OK to count
- Stock market today: Asian markets track Wall Street’s decline, eroding last year’s gains
Recommendation
-
Inside Dream Kardashian's Sporty 8th Birthday Party
-
These 15 Top-Rated Lip Oils Will Keep Your Lips Hydrated Through Winter
-
Prosecutors accuse Sen. Bob Menendez of introducing Qatari royal family member to aid NJ businessman
-
Trump’s vows to deport millions are undercut by his White House record and one family’s story
-
A Pipeline Runs Through It
-
Housing, climate change, assault weapons ban on agenda as Rhode Island lawmakers start new session
-
Several Midwestern cities are going to be counted again like it’s 2020
-
Christina Hall Responds to Speculation She's Pregnant With Baby No. 4